Evel Knievel

In a bit sad news today I learned that death finally caught up with Mr. Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel.

I can remember as a kid in the 1970s rushing home on Saturday afternoons any time that he was going to be on jumping something on his motorcycle, dressed in his iconic white outfit with the red and blue highlights.

This would have been in the early 70s or so when I was 8 or 9. In 1974, when I was 9, he tried to jump Snake River Canyon but the parachute on his jet-propelled rocket deployed early and he had to bail out.

As a kid I even had the Evel Knievel doll with wind-up cycle. It would go about 8 feet and fall over but it was awesome.

Later in his life, he would battle health problems and alcoholism. His death today is sad, but what a life this guy lived in the 1970s. He was IT.

Mr Knievel, I hope your jump to the other side is free of crashes.

Snapple...Really Made from the Best Stuff On Earth?

Though I'm usually a coffee drinker in the morning, I will sometimes break it up by having tea on the occassional daybreak.

And it is as an occassional tea drinker that I just have to question Snapple's decision on one of their current tea flavors. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how a flavor called Man-goooooo could be a big seller for them.


Who is a tea flavored with Man-goooooo going to be aimed at? Girls? Hell, boys maybe? I just gotta wonder, though, since this tea flavor is definitely not for me, is it really made of "the best stuff on Earth?" And if so, who's supplying all the goooooo?

Sounds like the kind of job Kevin Federline would apply for.

Thanks, Snapple, but No Thanks. While I'm sure there are lots of people out there who would love to start their day off with a mouthful of your warm Man-goooooo, I'm not one of them.

I think I'll just stick with coffee.

The Tree Is Up

My holiday tree is actually a tree that I keep outside during the warmer days, and then bring inside for the cold ones. It's a Norfolk Island Pine tree, and I've had it for about 4 years. I bought it at Lowes Hardware in Philadelphia and of course it made the trip up here to Maine with me. I suspect it will have far more indoor days in Orono than it did in Philly, but as long as it's living, it will always be my holiday tree.

You're probably asking, "Hey TFKoP, if you live in Maine, why don't you just go cut down a tree for the holidays? Aren't there a lot of trees in Maine you could chop down?" And the answer is 'yes', I could go chop one down. But why would I? This one is great, and it continues to remain healthy. I do need to get some kind of skirt to cover up the plant pot. Any suggestions?

Once this winter season is over, I am going to move the tree to a bigger pot, and that will be the last transplant it will go through. Once it's in its new pot, I will then have to keep the top of the tree trimmed so that it will stop its upward growth. I figure I'll let it get to about a 5 foot height (it's currently just over 3 feet tall) and then I'll trim the top to keep it at that height.

Of course a holiday tree cannot stand alone, so I went ahead and treated myself to an early present to keep under it and bought myself a complete set of Ryobi powertools. The combo purchase will add to my previously purchased Ryobi drill (12Volt). Included in this tool purchase:

1. reciprocating saw

2. finish sander

3. circular saw

4. 2-speed drill

5. shop vacuum

6. radio

7. 2 18-Volt batteries

8. the battery charger

9. tool bag

The whole purchase was worth it just for the radio! haha!

My tree's up, and I've got tools. Hmmm...that gives me an idea: maybe I'll just build everybody something for the holiday this year. Of course, I have no idea how to really use any of them, so the gifts might be end up being fireplace fuel. So, in a sense,I guess that would make my gifts "house WARMING gifts"! haha! Oh, I sleigh me! haha! Get it? Sleigh = slay!

Yeah...I love this holiday...and I'm an atheist!

Chuck Norris is So Tough....

...."how tough is he?" shouts the crowd from Match Game.

There's a new book out. It's based on some game I've never heard of where you try to come up with scenarios that explain just how tough Chuck Norris is. Example (taken from the book): A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg, and after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

How friggin' hilarious is that???

So, Ian Spector collected some of these sayings and assembled them into a book entitled "The Truth About Chuck Norris". I must have this book.

This is the kind of book that goes in the bathroom right next to your shitter. If it's something you're into, you can find it here at Amazon.com or you can search around the 'net or your local bookstore for it.

Other tidbits from the book glorifying Chuck Norris' awesomeness (taken from the Amazon.com site):

--When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

--Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.

--Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
--Chuck Norris can impregnate women just by staring at them. Men too.

Of course this sort of pop-culture game doesn't get by TFKoP without some further research, and I found the following sites that also play this game. Check 'em out. Very funny stuff.

http://mike.wordpress.com/2005/12/05/chuck-norris-the-facts/http://forum.defected.com/viewtopic.php?t=9402

Hell, Chuck's so awesome someone even made a Wii mii of him!

And just look at the toilet paper he uses. Now THAT'S tough.

I've always known Chuck Norris was tough. I remember in high school seeing Silent Rage at the theater. When he kicked the ass of that genetically altered dude, the era of Chuck Norris' toughness was established. And, the funniest part of the movie? Seeing Stephen Furst in it as The Chuck's deputy...cuz it's just funny seeing Flounder in anything since Animal House...he'll always be Flounder.

Chuck Norris should've been in Animal House. He would've kicked Dean Wormer's ass. After all, he can kick everyone's ass.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's a wish from TFKoP for a happy Thanksgiving Day to all of you. I hope your day was great, and that your family visits were full of all of the tension and stress and wacky sisters and aunts that holidays have come to be known for.

And I really hope you didn't have to have any of that shitty green-bean casserole crap that Campbell's Soup is responsible for dropping on the human race. That meal should be banned for being disgusting.

For the previous four years I spent Thanksgiving in Allentown, PA with friends of mine...great friends. The times I spent with them were really awesome and special times for me, so this year was the first without their company. Quite frankly, I did find myself missing their faces for this holiday. I hope their day was great.

As for my holiday, since I was back in Orono after having been gone for a whole bunch of years, I told my Mom and Dad that I would cook the meal and have them down for dinner. And cook I did! Here's the "before" and "after" pictures ofthe food that I prepared.

Before I worked my magic

After my magic...

Yummy, eh? Turkey (natch), steamed asparagus with olive oil and tarrgon drizzle, homemade stuffing (with cranberries), steamed green beans with olive oil and white wine vinegar with shredded Parmesan cheese, steamed baby potatoes with olive oil and parsley, homemade cranberry sauce, steamed pearl onions, mashed potatoes, green salad, steamed carrots, steamed Brussels sprouts, squash, homemade bread, and gravy. It was quite awesome.

Even my cats had turkey...turkey cat food of course! It was only fair, ayuh.

Turkey cat food. Not very good, even with gravy. But the cats seem to like it...

Also, in reference to my post from yesterday, the answer to the question about the real name of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons: Jeff Albertson. The only episode in which his real name has been mentioned was in the episode "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass", which aired after the 2005 Super Bowl...a Super Bowl won by the New England Patriots (over the Philadelphia Eagles), I would like to add.

So, here's a question about holiday etiquette: if you're at someone else's house having dinner and you're done eating, is it okay to sit on their couch and unbuckle your pants?

Here's hoping your holiday was belt-unbuckling good.

Shhhhhhh.......

Don't tell my cousins, but I went and saw The Mist this afternoon. Yup...first showing on opening day. I just couldn't wait to see it. I told them I'd go see it with them next week, but I just happened to be driving by the theater, and it just happened to be 10 minutes before show-time. What else was I supposed to do??

Anyway, the movie is pretty good. The acting is okay, and Marcia Gay Harden is perfect as the psychotic religious freak and Thomas Jayne is good as the every-man who just wants to protect his son. The movie sticks pretty close to the original short story, although the movie ending was far different from Stephen King's story. While I prefer the short-story ending to the movies' version, it was still okay. The effects were good and the creatures were creepy and gross.

I liked it. I actually can't wait to see it again next week with my cousins.

And if I can give you all one piece of advice....don't go in the mist.

Unexpected Red Sox Fan

Well, can you believe it? The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons is a Red Sox fan, as you can see from my very techincally produced picture here (actually taken w/ a digital camera while replaying the episode on my DVR then downloaded to my laptop from the camera's SD-Card, and then opened in MicroSoft Paint to write on and then uploaded to this blog.......

wow...that actually was a lot of technology...).

(from the recently aired episode "Little Orphan Millie", airdate Nov 11, 2007)

Pretty cool, eh?

Now a question for Simpsons die-hards. What is Comic Book Guy's real name? It has only been mentioned in one episode. Bonus kudos if you can name the episode too. Answer to appear tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day!

I'm a Tool.....Owner

The trials and tribulations of owning a house are slowly making themselves known to me....drafts around the windows, sewer line back-ups, rotten beams, old electrical lines.....it goes on and on, eh?

But, I've begun the offensive and am now the proud owner of my first power tool!

Yup, I bought this Ryobi cordless screwdriver/drill yesterday. And I expect it will not be lonely for too long. I got a good look at a circular saw while purchasing this, and I foresee a future that sees my power-tool ownership doubling very soon.

I'm such a tool.....buyer.

The Mist

A movie adaption of Stephen King's short story, The Mist, will be opening in theaters on Wednesday, November 21 (the day before Thanksgiving). The short story first appeared in Dark Forces (1980), a horror anthology, and was later included in Stephen King's own short-story collection, Skeleton Crew (1985).

It is one creepy story about a mysterious mist that envelopes a small Maine town. The towns people gather and soon learn that there are creatures in the mist that are feasting on people, and that a secret project had been going on (The Arrowhead Project) across the lake from their town. It was from this direction that the mist first began to cover the land. They take up shelter in a grocery store, but soon the traits of human nature show through: fear, mistrust, doubt, hopelessness. As the people begin to turn on one another, a small group make a run for it, find a car in the hard-to-see-through mist, and head out to find other life...and to see if the mist ever ends.

The movie was written and directed by Frank Darabont, who did a great job with two previous Stephen King works that he turned into movies: The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. The Mist is one of my all-time favorite works by Mr King (who, I might add, lives in Bangor, Maine, less than15 minutes from where I live in Orono). With Frank Darabont writing and directing this, I expect this to be a really good movie and I can't wait until it gets here!

But, it must get here first. Why do I say that? Well, when I woke up this morning and looked out my window, here's what I saw:

yikes...

I'm currently afraid to go outside...at least until the mist burns off.

If it burns off.....