Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

Only 15 episodes of this show were produced, but CBS milked them for several years. I think I saw every episode at least 3 times. And they had a jetpack, which in 1975/76 was cool as hell. Here you go, readers.....Ark II!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday's Word

Word: Band (V.)
Definition: to ban, prohibit. Also, “slap a band”

Usage:
“I hear if we don’t get rain soon, they’re going to band the woods.” Translation: Open fires will be banned.

Past tense ‘banded’. “They’ve banded fires up above the C.P. Line.”


(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that the first recorded Thanksgiving meal in what would become the United States of America occured in 1621? The Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Native Americans had a feast together to celebrate the autumn harvest. Here's a picture of what it may have looked like:

May your celebration of the nation's 387th Thanksgiving be a great one. And remember the old Native American saying regarding this most revered of celebrations: EAT LOTS!!

Monday Morning Chuckle...The Evening Edition

Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

Remember this one? It's another in the string of shows by Sid & Marty Kroft. This one features a sea monster!!! Aren't you just soooooo scared??

Wednesday's Word

Word: Kahdboo-ud kaht’n (N.) – test phrase (spelling – “cardboard carton”)

When you say this right, you’ll be well on your way to acceptable speech. When Yankees travel outside the Northeastern U.S. and meet people who don’t know how to talk right, they may be mocked and implored to repeat “Pahk y’r cah in Hahvud Yahd.” As far as test phrases go, though, “Hahdah than a ho-ah’s haht” may be the best.

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that electric eels aren't really eels at all? They belong to the knifefish family. The voltage from an electric eel can reach 650 volts! Yowzah!!!

Monday Chuckle

To be honest, I ripped this off of my buddy's blog over at The Churning. But it was too funny to pass up.

We're cool, right JJ??

Wednesday's Word

Word: Faht in a gale wind (Characterization.)
Definition: useless

Usage:
“Them plastic grills they put on cars nowadays ain’t worth a faht in a gale wind.”

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that over 5 million crayons are year are produced? Holy cow! That's a lot of coloring. And Crayola knows a thing or two about crayons.

Monday Morning Chuckle

What four words do you suppose this guy heard before climbing out of the window?

I'm guessing, "Honey, I'm home early!"

Saturday Morning Shows that I Miss

captain caveman. i would've loaded the theme song from the cartoon, but once again, blogger is sucking dick and won't upload a video.

blogger...you suck.

An Open Letter to the Red States

Dear Red States,

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Florida, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware and all of New England.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of our new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the Red States pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single parents. Please be aware that New California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all of our citizens back in our great country from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight you can ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do sincerely wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources or citizens mired in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce crops, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America 's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), 100% of Maine lobsters, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia . We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red States believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that Evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam Hussein was involved in the 9/11 attack and finally 61% of you crazy people believe you are people with higher morals than we Lefties.

Peace out,

Blue States, aka New California


(thanks to harsha for this very funny letter)

Wednesday's Word

Word: Lift (V.)
Definition: to strike with the fist

Usage: “Clyde was out cold for five minutes.” “Ayuh, Frederick really lifted him.”


(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Obama/Biden Win!

Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden on winning the election! Finally, the US has a bright light ahead after 8 miserable and failed years of Republican(t) (mis)leadership. President Obama will be the first African-American President in this country, the 44th President in our great country's history.

Let the change for the better begin.

And you know what the funnest part of watching the election coverage was? It was watching this all unfold on right-wing Fox Televsion. It was a complete joy watching every one of the Fox TV announcers swallowing hard and having to declare Obama the Democrat the winner. They still didn't have anything positive to say about of him, of course, but whatever. They're a bunch of backward-ass tools, anyway.

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that the first US election was held in 1789? This is the only election to have been held in an odd-numbered year. George Washington won this election (the first of his two terms) and John Adams was his Vice President.

Now that you know this....GO OUT AND VOTE!

Monday Morning Chuckle

Cruising through Bangor last week I saw this funny nod to the old Burma Shave road-sign ads. The person who did this had a good sense of humor using campaign signs.

For those wondering what the hell the whole Burma Shave sign-thing is about, learn more here. (Yes, it pre-dated me too)

(Note: I have no idea who the person on the sign is or what party they are or anything about the office they're running for, so posting their signs for this is in no way a nod of support to this person's candidacy.)

Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

Long before he did that monologue on Michael 'Freak Show' Jackson's song Thriller, Vincent Price was doing the opening of this great little show out of Canada called The Hilarious House of Frightenstein.

Living in Maine gave me access to Canadian television stations and this show was one of my favorites. It was spooky fun.