Monday Morning Chuckle

Wow...this looks so much like my time in driver's ed! Well, except we didn't have cell phones back in 1981....

Reverse The High Price of Gas

Yesterday there was some rumor put out by someone that the price of gas would reach $7/gallon within 2 years. On this rumor, the stock market plunged over 300 points. On a rumor.

Here’s what I’m thinking. I’m going to start a rumor. That’s right. You’re going to read the rumor hear on TFKoP, and then you’ll spread the rumor, and so on and so on. Very soon this rumor will reach Wall Street, and when they hear this news we will see the stock market surge. And very likely we’ll see gas prices plummet.


The rumor? Here it is:
I heard that the price of gas will return to the $2/gallon levels within the next two months.


Now let’s just sit back and watch this rumor (which I completely made up) influence the out-of-control gas prices and Wall Street uneasiness.

And remember, folks, you heard it hear first.

Wednesday's Word
formerly known as the "What're Words For..."

Word: Heavy water (n. phrase), on New England waterways, this has nothing to do with nuclear physics
Definition: Heavy water is the main current, the place where you want the canoe to go unless you wish to paint some rocks with it along the way.


Usage:
“Make sure you take the heavy water on the left when you pass the big rock that’s split in two. It looks deep enough on the right, but it isn’t.”



(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Monday Morning Chuckle

Todays chuckle is delivered with the sad news about the passing yesterday of comedian George Denis Patrick Carlin. He was an innovator in the comedy world and was probably best known for his ‘7 Words you Can’t Say on TV’ (shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, & tits) from back in the mid-70s. Great stuff. Funny Stuff. Laugh out loud funny stuff.

His passing last night in California at the age of 71 leaves a gap in the comedy world. He was still touring and showcasing new material. While his shows were full of cuss words, it wasn’t about the cussing. He was a very smart observer and his comedy threw back at us the stupid things we do as humans, and if you were a politician, watch out.

Though stand-up comedy is what he’s known best for, he also appeared on television over the years (Welcome Back, Kotter; The Simpsons) and lots of people forget that George Carlin was the host for two-years of that Thomas the Tank Engine kids show, proving that he was an entertainer for both kids and adults…though mostly for adults. He authored several books (When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?; Napalm and Silly Putty; Brain Droppings, to name just a few) and appeared in several movies (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back).

Homer, Munchie (Carlin) and Seth (Martin Mull) in "D'oh'in In The Wind"

A couple of Carlin clips for your Monday Morning Chuckle. I’m pretty sure Carlin wouldn’t want people mourning his passing. I didn’t know him, of course, but I bet he’d rather have all of us just closely observe what we see today, and point out how fucked up some of the things we see every day really are.

You’ll be missed, George.

Why Prostitution Should be Legal

Religion is Bullshit

Cornhole

Wednesday's Word
formerly known as the "What're Words For..."

Word: Spaded (v. or adj.)
Definition: spayed

Usage:
“I had to get my Judy spaded before she got knocked-up by that Pekinese next door.”
“That thing! If I had that critter, I’d stick a handle in him and use him for a mop!”


(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Please note that both of my cats are spaded.

Monday Morning Chuckle

Today, men, we'll be focusing on an issue that has plagued all of us boys in school and public situations. While girls like to tell us of the issues they face on a daily basis (hair, nails, make-up, who broke up with who, who's dating who, their periods.....), they seem to forget that us men have a problem that has been haunting us since our childhood.

Maybe this will help you ladies understand one of our issues.

I wish this info had been available when I was....er.....'growing up'. Going commando while wearing gym shorts was not the best way around this, I found.

Happy Father's Day!!

Wednesday's Word
formerly known as the "What're Words For..."

Word: Goo-ud (adj)
Definition: Normally spelled “good”. Often prefaced with “some” or “some old.”

Usage:
“Mava, this apple pie is some goo-ud.”
“Is that so? I made it with McIntosh, too. They ain’t supposed to be a pie apple.”
“Well, it’s some old goo-ud anyway.”



(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Monday Morning Chuckle

...being presented in the afternoon

Granted, this won't appeal to you unless you're a fan of Arrested Development (the show not the band). And if you have never watched it, I have to ask you why not? Are you......chicken?? It really was one of the funniest shows on television...ever.

Apparently there's going to be an Arrested Development movie. To see the further adventures of the Bluth family? That would be the finest kind of pork.

Weekend

I spent yesterday helping out at a disc golf tournament in Auburn, Maine at Dragan Field. There were a lot of disc golfers, most from around Maine and New England, but a few traveled in from other areas on the East Coast.

Today (Sunday) I’m leaving to go Boston to see the Red Sox play the Mariners. Woooohooooo!

More later…..much later.

Wednesday's Word
formerly known as the "What're Words For..."

Word: nawthin’ (n)
Definition: correct pronunciation of “nothing”



(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Wicked Weird

So, no big shocker to hear that I'm a big fan of Lost. Because of this, I may be reading into something a little too much.

While watching a re-run of that awesome 70s game show Match Game yesterday on the Game Show Network (okay okay...Match Game is a series recording set in my DVR...), Patty Deutsch gave the following answer to a question:

Lost Polar Bear. Lost? Polar Bear?? Weird, eh?

Is she also traveling through time and space and went back to give this answer as some sort of clue? Does she work for Widmore too???

I might like Lost a little tooooooo much......

Late Monday Chuckle

Lost, Season 4, Episodes 13/14 "There’s No Place Like Home, pts 2/3" (5/29/2008)

This episode picks up where Season 3’s finale ended. In the future. This episode proves without a doubt that this is the best show on television. Hands down.

Flash-forward Locke: Well, I didn’t see that coming. Locke is in the casket…the casket from last year’s season finale ( “Through the Looking Glass” ). Like a deli in New York, the answer to the question is “Locke’s (lox) in the box”. Visiting the Oceanic 6 under the name Jeremy Bentham, he tells them that things went very bad after they left and that they all have to go back. (Historically, Jeremy Bentham was an English philosopher [1632-1704] who was born about 40 years after the death of English philosopher John Locke, whose earlier work influenced him.) Why is he off the Island? Did he also have to move the Island at some point, which caused him to come back? And if he is off the Island, maybe the only way he could go back is dead and be ‘resurrected’ in the same way that Christian Shephard has been?

Island Locke: Unable to convince Jack to stay on the Island, he tells Jack they’ll have to lie about how they survived in order to protect everyone else on the Island from the people sent by Charles Widmore to find it. Now the leader of the Others, we’ll see how he does as a leader as his history of making good decisions is spotty. We know that things go very wrong for the Island folks after the Oceanic 6 depart, but we don’t know yet what that means. At least that's what what they're being told, that things went bad. Could be a lie to manipulate them for some reason. Maybe Locke becomes as manipulative as Ben in the three years after the survivors of Oceanic 815 were rescued.

Flash-forward Jack: Picking up where last year’s season finale left off, we see Jack trying to convince Kate to go back to the Island. It doesn’t seem to work. Recalling the conversation he had with Jeremy Bentham (Locke), he believes it’s necessary for everyone to go back to the Island. We all know how Jack has to fix things. But, with the Island moved, Locke dead, and Ben on the mainland, how do they find the Island? Let alone bring everyone back, including the body of Locke.

Island Jack: Does not believe anything Locke says, so anytime they meet up it’s just two goats butting heads. Jack refuses to believe, despite the mounting evidence, that there is something bizarre about the island they are on. He’ll soon be forced to admit it. Until that time, he concocts the lie of the crash and of the survivors who come to be known as the Oceanic 6. He knows they have to lie because, as he says, “…someone put the plane there (on the ocean bottom), someone who wants everyone to think we’re dead. So what do you think is going to happen to us when they find out we survived?” With a few hours on the raft with the other survivors of the freighter explosion, they had plenty of time to make-up a story before being found by Penny’s boat, the Searcher, after she used the phone call made by Charlie to locate where they were.

Flash-forward Ben: All these times we’ve seen him in the flash-forwards, it seemed he was bouncing back-and-forth between the Island and the mainland. Not so. The whole time he’s been back on the mainland, a result of being the one who moved the Island, he was thrown forward in time. The exposure to the anomaly, perhaps? Recruiting Sayid to be an assassin to take out Widmore associates is one of the things he’s done since returning. Now he’s visited Jack and backed-up Locke’s/Bentham’s story about having to get everyone…EVERYONE…back to the Island. And of course he has a plan to get everyone else on board, too. We’ll have to wait until next season to see how easy/hard this is for him to do.

Island Ben: Realizing that he’s going to be leaving the Island anyway, he allows, for the first time that I can remember, emotion to get in the way and this leads to him killing Keamy, which sets off the remote on Keamy’s arm and detonates the C4 on the freighter. Ben, not caring about the death of those on the freighter ("So?", he says), enacts his vengeance on Keamy, whom we all know killed his sort-of-daughter Alex using the subtle knife-to-throat...twice...technique. After his touching “I’m sorry I made your life so miserable” apology and handshake to Locke, he then sets-off to the deep bowels of the Orchid Station (how far down does that place go??) to hand-crank the device that moves the Island. Then a blinding light, the sound of electromagnetic energy being activated (or whatever), and in a blip….blip…the Island was gone. The right-arm injury he got making his way through the ice tunnel to reach the device, the Halliwax jacket…all transported with Ben to the Sahara desert where we saw him appear in “The Shape of Things to Come”.

Flash-forward Sun: Her control of Paik industries, three years after returning from the Island, has strengthened it appears. By approaching Charles Widmore in London and confirming with him that the Oceanic 6 have been lying, it looks like she is either: a) trying to pull Widmore in to crush him under her thumb like a bug; or b) actually wants to work with him, presumably to use his information to look for the Island to try to find Jin. The two of them working together would create a financially-backed Island-looking machine. We already know that Sun blames two people for the death (though unconfirmed at this point) of Jin: her father is one, but we don’t know the second. Jack started to say that Sun blames him for something, but he never finished the thought. So, she might have Jack as the second person, or perhaps she blames Widmore. Of course, Ben is always in the running for these sorts of things. If she blames Widmore, keeping him close will allow her to exact her revenge on him. Now, if she has to go back to the Island, will she have to bring her daughter, Ji Yeon?

Island Sun: Wicked sad when she watches the freighter explode with Jin still on it as she and the others (there's that phrase again....the others) narrowly escape in the low-fuel chopper. Heart wrenching.

Flash-forward Walt Lloyd: Almost unrecognizable, teenager-Walt visits Hurley three years after his return with the Oceanic 6 (a clever way for the writers to cover up actor Malcolm David Kelley's growth spurt!). Disappointed that they none of the Oceanic 6 went to visit him, but that Jeremy Bentham did, he asks Hurley why they’re lying about what happened. Hurley tells him it’s to protect everyone, then lies to tell him that includes his father, Michael, who we know died in the freighter blast, something Walt has yet to learn.

Flash-forward Sayid: Visits Hurley to get him to safety (sent by Ben, perhaps?), pointing out to him that he had to dispatch (aka - kill) a man who has been watching Hurley from outside Santa Rosa for some time. It appears that Sayid is beginning the process of getting Hurley to agree to go back to the Island. Take him to safety first, and then convince him to go back.

Island Sayid: Can I just say that his fight with Keamy was the best fight scene on TV…maybe ever! Holy cow! We got to see Sayid’s backwards-upside-down-foot-kick-to-the-face again, and that never gets old.

Flash-forward Hurley: Three years on and Hurley is in the mental institution, Santa Rosa Mental Institute. Playing chess by himself, an empty chair across from him, he is visited by Sayid who tells him that Jeremy Bentham (Locke) is dead and he has to get Hurley to safety. Creepy moment: right before leaving with Sayid, he moves a chess piece on the chess board, the Queen, removes the opposing castle piece and says “Checkmate, Mr. Eko”.

Island Hurley: Continues his allegiance to Locke, but we learn that he’ll come to regret his decision to leave with Jack and the others. Likes old crackers.

Flash-forward Kate: Though she seems to be tired of Jack’s constant “we have to go back” rants and looks to not be interested one bit in this idea, her whispers of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” to Aaron seem to indicate that she knows that she will indeed have to return.

Sawyer: Very noble gesture jumping off the chopper, but knowing he was not part of the rescued Losties it made sense he’d not be going back with them. Right before jumping off the chopper he whispers something inaudible to Kate. That is likely the point that he asked Kate to do the favor for him in reference to his daughter Clementine (“Something Nice Back Home”).

Daniel Faraday: Where are he and the raft people? Did they transport with the Island? And if not, is it possible that they’ll be able to rescue a not-dead Jin who got off the freighter before it exploded?? And what his relationship to/with Charlotte?

Miles Straum: Senses that Charlotte has returned to the Island, indicating that she has been there before. Are Charlotte and Daniel part of the original Dharma Initiative? Miles opts to stay on the Island, which opens up lots of possibilities for his powers/sensory perception to come into play in sensing Jacob or whatever exists on the Island. We’ll see him next season.

Charlotte: Based on Miles’ premonition/sense that she has been searching for where she was from, and them implies that she’s from the Island makes Charlotte decide to stay instead of returning to the freighter. Another character we’ll have around for next season.

Keamy: Good-bye.

Michael: Redeems himself, and then good-bye. This is a tough show, eh? haha

Frank Lapidus: Leaves with Penny and her crew after dropping off the Oceanic 6 a few hours off the coast of Mumbata. Will we see him again? I'd like to have him back.

Charles Widmore: I always thought that Sun’s father, with all of his money and power, could somehow be involved. Now we have Widmore confirm that he has golfed with Mr. Paik. With the Island now moved, how long will this delay his finding the Island? Will the help of Sun aid in this endeavour? And now that Ben is back for good, what sort of confrontations will the two of them have?

Richard Alpert: Still the same age as he’s always been, he and the Others take out Keamy’s men with the help of Kate and Sayid, and later welcomes John as leader when he returns from the Orchid Station. So, is Richard one of the original inhabitants of the Island? When Locke arrives from the Orchid Station, Richard welcomes him home….home??

Desmond and Penny: Leaving with Penny, Desmond will still have to be careful as Penny’s wicked evil father, Charles, may continue to look for him. Or her. Expect to see them next season. After all, Desmond may have to go back, too, with the others that were rescued. And they are the ones who know how the Oceanic 6 actually were found. They are a liability to Charles Widmore.

Christian Shephard: Appeared to Michael and said, “You can go now, Michael.” After Michael’s “who are you?” response, the C4 exploded. Long before this, Christian’s body flew to the Island in Oceanic 815’s cargo bay. When the plane crashed, his body disappeared, but he’s been appearing both on the Island (to Jack, Claire, and now to Michael on the freighter) and in the flash-forwards he's visited Jack. Is he part of the Island…an original inhabitant…maybe also banished from the Island? If it was required that his body be returned to the Island in order for him to resurrect, then it’s no surprise that his body was on the plane. Does John Locke’s body also have to be returned in this same way…because he has to die in order to be reborn as the leader?

Juliet: Also chooses to stay on the Island. Sees the smoke from the destroyed freighter as Sawyer swims in from his helicopter jump. She opts to drink to this sight…and Dharma Rum is the drink of choice.

The Orchid Station: This is the second station (that we know of) that was over a spot on the island where the natural electromagnetic force existed. Or some kind of force. And where the Dharma Initiative (and their "silly experiments", as Ben called them) tried to harness the power of the anomaly.

Cool moments:
--Hurley welcoming Sawyer back and realizing that softie-Sawyer came back for him. (When Sawyer walked up behind Hurley, I’m hoping that Hurley was…y’know…peeing, and not doing… anything…else.)
--Hurley and Sawyer’s cracker-sharing moment…until Hurley brings up Clair’s name.
--Seeing Walt.
--The explosion of the freighter….sad, yes. But cool lookin’? TOTALLY!
--Ben being rescued by the Others. They work with such precision and skill, and they are so quiet. I’d forgotten how formidable of a jungle-fighting force that they were when they easily took-out Keamy’s team of mercenaries.
--Penny and Desmond meeting up again.
--Ahhhh…d’uh…the Island moving! The ripple on the ocean was unbelievable. Very cool.
--Jack pulling up to the Hoffs/Drawler (anagram = flash forward) Funeral Home with “Gouge Away” by the Pixies blaring out of the radio. I mention this only because I LOVE THE PIXIES!

Funny lines:
1. Ben: “Couldn’t find the anthuriums (flowers), could you?”
Locke: “I don’t know what they look like…”
2. Rose to Miles: “I’m keeping an eye on you, Shorty”, after she catches him eating some of the peanuts from their food pantry.
3. Sawyer to Frank: “Hey there, Kenny Rogers, what’choo trying to do there…pick a lock?”
4. Hurley to Jack: “Oh really? Because, one minute it was there and the next it was gone, so, unless we like, overlooked it, dude, that’s exactly what he did”, when Jack doesn’t believe that Locke (well, to be fair, it was Ben who) moved the Island, despite seeing the Island disappear right in front of his eyes.

Interesting:
1. I don’t know how long the website will be active, but did you see the fake commercial for Octagon Global Recruiting? Check it out: http://octagonglobalrecruiting.com/
2. Casimere Effect. According to Wikipedia, In physics, the Casimir effect and the Casimir-Polder force are physical forces arising from a quanitzed field. Read more here at Wiki.
3. The noise that was made and the light from the moving of the Island were similar to that when Desmond turned the off-switch in the Swan Hatch (“Live Together, Die Alone”).
4. So, check this out: in Kate’s dream, Clair told her to NOT bring Aaron back to the Island. But, Clair was in the cabin with Christian and told Locke “I’m with him”, seemingly confirming that Christian’s/Jacob’s plan was the same as hers. But, if Jacob/the Island requires that everybody return, that would include Aaron (and I would also assume that would include Walt, which would be the way to bring him back into the show for the last two seasons). So, why would Jacob want Aaron to come back, but vision-Claire would tell Kate NOT to bring him back? Is there a fracture within that alliance somehow?
5. Ben finding Jack in the funeral home after he sees Locke’s body in the coffin. Confirming that Locke had visited he and Kate a month earlier and had told them that after leaving the Island some very bad things happened. Telling Jack the Island won’t let Jack come alone. That all of them have to go back, including Sayid, Sun, Hurley, Kate. Including Locke’s body. Telling Jack he’ll help him get everyone back. He does, after all, have a few ideas of how to accomplish this.

Final Questions:
1. Okay, ummmm…let’s see….how about…WHERE THE HELL DID THE ISLAND GO???
2. What is the “very bad thing” that happened after Jack et al left the Island?
3. What will Ben’s role off the Island be in getting the others…there’s that word again… on board with returning?
4. What does Sun want to work with Charles Widmore for?
5. Did Jin really die?
6. What’s with Walt’s ‘fro? ;-)
7. Where the hell is Vincent??
8. What were the hieroglyphic-like writings in the crank-room to move the Island? And who put the crank-room in there? How long ago?
9. What part will Matthew Abaddon play in the things to come?

This closes out a shortened, but ramped up fourth season of Lost. It’s going to be a long wait until late January/early February, but I’ll be there waiting. I’ll go ahead and assume the obvious: next season will be all about them getting back to the Island. The final season will likely be all restoring the island/final fight between the two sides (the black side and the white side…like in backgammo)n. And about answering all of the questions.

Check out this website for some really great screen shots: http://losteastereggs.blogspot.com/

One other thing: before the two-hour finale played, ABC repeated part 1 in the 'enhanced' version with the annoying notes on the bottom of the screen. This is the first time I watched an enhanced version, and I noticed that they added a short scene that was NOT in the original airing of the episode. At the press conference welcoming back the Oceanic 6, Jack actually lists the three people that they said died after surviving the crash: Boone Carlisle (died from his injuries); Libby (died on the island); and Charlie Pace (died a few weeks before the rescue). This is why, when the reporter asks Sun about Jin, Sun gives Jack that look, and then says Jin didn't make it off the plane. I wonder why they did not put this in the original airing? It seems like it should have been in there.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading and have a good summer! Keep those cards and letters coming.

And remember, the Octagon Global Recruiting conference is in San Diego July 24-27…see you there? What’s better than an unpaid position? haha