Wednesday's Word

Word: Ktaadn (N.)
Definition: Katahdin

Old spelling (as used in Thoreau's Maine Woods) and a good pronunciation for Maine's highest mountain. Used as an index of one's vista.

Usage:
“My, what a nice view you have here."
"Yes, on a good day you can see clear'n to Ktaadn."

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Forced Time off - Thanks, HP

Well, it turns out that HewlettPackard may be in cahoots with Microsoft. You know, Microsoft, that company that makes computer stuff that never works right? Well, turns out that the wireless device in my HP DV6660 laptop just stopped working last week...out of nowhere, I was on the internet, and then I wasn't. After an hour of trying to restore the wireless function, I called HP (spent an hour on the phone...most of it on hold) and was eventually told by the second person I talked to that "this is something we're finding is happening to this model".

Piece of shit.

I have to mail my laptop to HP for them to service their crappy product. They said it will be 7-9 days to repair once they receive the laptop, but they are shipping me a box so this mailing can occur. I'm hopeful the box arrives from FedEx today (Monday) and I'll send the laptop back right away. So, it will be sometime next year that I get my laptop back.

Until then, TFKoP will be taking a bit of a vacation. I know that this will cause a bit of despair for both of my readers, but I'll be back once the laptop is returned and working.

Happy new year!

Go Boston Bruins!!!

Best Holiday Show....Ever

A Wish for Wings That Work was a story by Berkeley Breathed published in 1991 and made into an animated special that same year. It was only shown once on TV and had characters made famous from Breathed's Bloom County characters, including Opus the Penguin, Bill the Cat, to name just a couple.

The gist: Opus the Penguin wants to have wings that "work"...in other words, allow him to fly. Santa teaches him a lesson of great importance by the end of the show.

It was FINALLY released on DVD last year (2007), but to find it will probably require an internet search as stores in the US only carry the standard boring holiday DVDs.

Happy Day

I hope you all have a great time today during your Winter Solstice Celebration. Remember: long before the christian dogma hijacked this festival and turned it into "christmas", this time of year celebrated the start of the solar year. It was the Pagens way of celebrating Light ("birth of the Sun") as the new year was about to begin.

It was in 273 that the day was taken by the christian church to signify the birth of the carpenter Jesus, and it was also a way for the christians to try to wipe out all signs of Pagen celebration.

Once again, the christians failed...thankfully. Because as we all know from real, fact-based history (as opposed to stuff written made up by humans in the bible), Jesus was born in May.

So call it what you want: but it's still the Winter Solstice Celebration. And I hope yours is wicked awesome, filled with peace and spent with people who mean a lot to you.

Wednesday's Word

Word: Junk (N.)
Definition: piece of indeterminate size

Usage:
“You need a good junk of salt pork to bake a decent pot of beans.”
or
“Throw another junk of wood into that stove.

Also: (V.)
Definition: to divide into pieces

Usage:
“He junked up one hindquarter of that deer and made it all into ‘deerburger’, he calls it.”

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that today is Festivus? What? You don't know about Festivus?? Well, you've disappointed me by not knowing about this. Festivus...for the rest of us.

Happy Festivus!

And be sure to check out the guys over at The Airing of Grievances for this years list...

Monday Morning Chuckle

Holiday Song Burnout

Dr Johnny Fever hits the nail right on the head...

Side note: not sure why audio is a couple seconds ahead of video...

Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

He's funky. He's a phantom. Hmmmm...what show could this be???

R.I.P.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry, wife of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, passed away today at the age of 76 from leukemia.


Star Trek has always been one of my favorite shows, with Deep Space 9 being the uber-fav.

Wednesday's Word

Word: Hold her, Newt… (Descriptive phrase.)
Definition: used when something – an automobile, horse, wagon – is about to go out of control.

Usage (the entire exclamation is rendered):
“Hold her, Newt: she’s headin’ for the meddah” (meadow; or river, swamp, etc.)

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know on December 15, 1791 (337 years ago) the first ten amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America were ratified by three-quarters of the states? These ten amendments became known as the Bill of Rights and were incorporated into the Constitution.

And even though I know all of you know these 10 amendments, I’m listing them here for you anyway…just a reminder.

Amendment 1: Freedoms, Petitions, Assembly
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II: Right to Bear Arms
A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III: Quartering of Soldiers
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV: Search and Arrest
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, an no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V: Rights in Criminal Cases
Nor person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI: Right to a Fair Trial
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII: Rights in Civil Cases
In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII: Bail, Fines, Punishment
Excessive bail shall not be required nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX: Rights Retained by the People
The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X: States’ Rights
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Monday Morning Chuckle

Maybe they should consider pulling these off of the market. Or maybe they should just sell them in sex shops, cuz those ain't no lighthouses, fellas. **cough cough COCKS cough cough**

Survivor: Gabon Winner

There's a new millionaire in the great State of Maine and that person is Bob Crowley, from Portland. Mr Crowley is the winner of the latest season, the 17th, of Survivor.

Bob is a physics teacher in Portland and at 58 years old he has become the oldest winner on the show.

Way to go, Maine-guy!! You did wicked good, ayuh, and winning Survivor: Gabon has got to be....wait for it...wait for it.....the finest kind of pork.

Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

Okay, picture this: MONSTERS WITH GUITARS!! Sounds awesome, right? It was.

Heat Miser

Snow Miser

Tune in tomorrow and meet his brother, Heat Miser, who is also 'too much'.

Wednesday's Word

Word: Driver (N.)
Definition: hard worker

Usage:
“Bertha was the first in town to have her cannin’ done.”
“Ayuh, ain’t she a driver.”

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that there are no Red Lobster restaurants in Maine? They closed the only two back in 1998.


There are a couple of reasons they couldn't survive in Maine. Number one is the fact that we already know how to cook seafood up here and the small, independent local seafood restaurants give a far better meal than anything whipped up in a chain store. (That would be like putting a nasty Olive Garden in the middle of a major city with a large Italian population like Philadelphia....oh wait, they did, and amazingly enough tourists with no taste for REAL Italian food flock to it instead of seeking out the far superior local Italian eateries.) Thankfully, tourists to Maine knew where the best seafood could be found.

Second, they lost business when they refused to change their waitress uniforms to compete with those worn by servers in Maine's seafood restaurants. I know who I want bringing me a steamed crustracean with a side of hot buns.

"Would you like a pinch of buttah with your meal, sir? Or just the pinch?"

Third, and most important: they don't even know how to spell Lobstah.

Monday Morning Chuckle

Yeah, he's a douchebag, but this is pretty funny.

Chuck Norris could kick his ass though...

How'd That Cadet Taste?

The Navy's goal to conquer the Army: "EAT ARMY"

It worked: Navy won 34-0. mmmmmmmmmmm.......cadet......

Better, I guess, than having to eat seamen.

Saturday Morning Shows That I Miss

Soloman! Hercules! Atlas! Zeus! Achilles! Mercury! The mentioning of these 6 Greek gods can only mean one thing...

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! OJ's GUILTY!

Ummmmm.....no shit!

Looks like a minimum of 6 years in the Nevada State Prison System for the Juice.

What a douchbag he turned out to be.

Wednesday's Word

Word: Zero (N.)
Definition: cipher, a person of no importance

Usage:
“That Jason is an absolute zero.”
“Ain’t he, though? Don’t know enough to sit down when he’s tired.”

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Did You Know Tuesday

Did you know that the Slinky was invented in Philadelphia in 1943?



If you were stretch out a standard Slinky, not only would you ruin it, but you would also find that it stretches out to 87 feet!

Monday Morning Chuckle...The Evening Edition

Well lookee here...someone got themselves some new shoes...